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Not So Basic Bitch Veggie Sandwich

Not so basic bitch vegetarian sandwich

I know what you’re thinking. This chick is really going to teach me how to make a sandwich?! Like how is she even a food blogger? (I mean like anyone technically can be guys.)

Also, I know vegetarian food gets a bad rep. I’m all for eating more plant-based, but I also believe that food can have flavor and be healthy. You will literally never find me eating unseasoned chicken and boiled broccoli under the guise of having the “perfect” body. (Side note, shout out to my asshole bodybuilder ex who belittled me for asking for cheese to make an omelette. I’m sure you’re still really fun to be around.)

The key to making this sandwich is using the delish bean dip and amazing bread. Put down the prepackaged bread you find in the bread aisle of the grocery store. You need a good robust, crusty loaf for this recipe. Also, those loafs of bread can last for weeks on your counter, and if that doesn’t qualify as Frankenfood, I don’t know what does.

Rubbing the bread with garlic is like the stuff dreams are made of. My dad used to make me bruschetta with garlic, olive oil, and fresh parmesan every morning before kindergarten, and also this might be why I had very few friends at that stage in my life, but I disgress. Caramelizing the red onions also adds another layer of flavor. Yeah, we’re gonna be extra like that for this recipe- go big or go home.

The bean dip serves as a creamy spread (and packs a fair amount of protein) and I don’t know about you, but I don’t really fuck with mayo like that so this is a perfect healthier substitute.

Serves 1

Ingredients

1/2 small loaf ciabatta (or baguette, or crusty bread of your choice)

1/2 eggplant

2/3 cup olive oil

1/3 cup canola or vegetable oil

1 garlic clove (peeled and end cut off)

No more refried beans dip

1/4 red onion (thinly sliced)

1/4 cup fresh spinach

We Can’t Eat Refried Beans Forever Dip

2 cans cannellini beans

3/4 cup whole milk ricotta (can use reduced fat, but will be less flavor)

4 table spoons fresh squeezed lemon juice

Half a bunch of parsley  (rinsed off)

3 cloves garlic

Salt, pepper

A few tablespoons of olive oil (to taste)

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to broil. (You can also just use a toaster oven if you have one.)

  2. Slice your eggplant (I generally like to slice it pretty thin since it cuts down on cooking time, but it’s a personal preference thing). Eggplant can act as a sponge so I really recommend slicing it and then placing it in a single layer on paper towel and then lightly salting it so that some of the moisture drains out.

  3. While the eggplant is draining thinly slice your red onions and heat up a small saute pan to medium/high heat. Add a tablespoon of olive oil and let heat up, then add your red onions.

  4. Let cook (with minimal stirring) for a few minutes. You want the onions to get nice and brown, so that they become caramelized.

  5. Heat your oils up on medium high heat in a shallow sauce pan, the exact amounts will vary but basically you want a ratio of 2/3 olive oil to 1/3 canola or veggie oil.

  6. Once the oil is hot enough add your slices of eggplant, making sure that there’s enough room around each slice.

  7. Fry the eggplant until it’s nice and brown (this will take a little while, at least 5 min depending on your stove), and then flip over and do the other side.

  8. When properly browned place the eggplant slices on a plate with fresh paper towel (this will help drain out some of the oil) and light salt, layering as you go on.

  9. In the meantime, toast your bread. (If broiling move rack to top shelf and watch that shit closely!)

  10. Take the toasted bread out and liberally rub your garlic clove on the warm bread. Spread the bean dip over it in a thick layer.

  11. Take your eggplant and cut into quarters so that you don’t have giant pieces of eggplant hanging out of your mouth when you bite into the sandwich.

  12. Add your caramelized onions, eggplant, and spinach in layers and voila. A masterpiece sandwich that you didn’t have to pay $15 for.